Dysphoria Cure


Since yesterday, I’ve been feeling a tad dysphoric.
I’m usually pretty good about it not getting to me too badly (which is a shock since I’m the most sensitive, thin skinned, person ALIVE) but I had stumbled upon a transhater’s blog here on tumblr and it really fucked with my head.
Not only that, but I spent practically the ENTIRE day with my parents out hiking which, wasn’t too bad, but they were very insistent on using  female pronouns/terms. I’m not ignorant and understand their reasoning- just like everyone else that doesn’t know any better and mislabels me- I just ignore it, pretend they said “man” instead of “ma’am” or dismiss it quickly. It does no good to dwell, nor will it progress you to get upset and lash out, although, disorienting.

I know there will come a day when these things will become trivial and I will hopefully have surrounded myself with support and love, but for now, it catches me now and again and sets me in a funk.
After a short nap from our hike, I groggily shuffled out into the house to find it quiet. No one was home. I lurched into the bathroom and while washing my hands, got a good look at myself.

Holy SHIT I’m a GUY.

It struck me so profoundly how masculine I truly look! I’m not even on T yet!
I really felt quiet happy looking myself over in the mirror and I can honestly say it’s been a while since I could look at myself and say “That is me.”  so I decided to take some pictures to hopefully capture this moment and feeling to keep to me. You may groan about their Facebook-esq quality, but I wanted to have a little fun with some silly poses and expressions. As I was doing so, I saw it. Lying at the top of the sink- my sister’s mascara.

I highlighted my ‘stache and chin prickles as you can see, and the last photo is what a 5 o’ clock shadow might look like. That’s pretty exciting! I was honestly expecting any facial hair to give me a pedophile/ Kip from Napoleon Dynamite but I think I come across rather dashing!

Alright, tl;dr. I’m just posting this to celebrate a little :)